The Strange Affair of Erik's Mask
by D2P
Summary: A random thing I wrote for an English Essay, telling why it was late. I know people get sick of reading these on here, but if your bored, here's something I hope to help kill it with. Enjoy.


Katie Van Zant Period 4 9-23-08

"The Strange Affair of Erik's Mask"

Or

The Best Lost Homework Excuse Ever

Dear Mrs. Patton-Radel,

I am doing this assignment late, you just don't know it yet. It's in the tray or been handed into you like all the others, hasn't it? No, it hasn't. It came in an alien spacecraft from the realm of Yu-Gi-Oh! With a milk-carton jetpack.

Right, I lied again. But did I really? You'll never know.

Yeah, you will.

The fact being, I woke up. Alarm at 6:00 A.M. "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace as always. Brushed my teeth, got dressed, and made a pit stop in my basement. I had this assignment (finished , mind you. FINIS!) in my hand.

See, we have a little room in our basement. It used to be used for coal storage and stuff, but now someone else was making use of the 'Free-Room-And-Board' being offered. His name's Erik, and his occupation was haunting Opera Houses in Paris('Opera Ghost'). He burned his house down so he lived in our basement. What am I saying? He still does!

Me: "Hi, Erik."

Erik: "Hmm."

Me: "What're you doing up so early?"

Erik: "…"

Me: " Thinking?"

Erik: "…"

Me: " Argh, regular Mr. Sunshine huh?"

Erik: " There is no sunlight down here."

Me: " I'm not the landlord so don't complain to me, man!"

Erik: " … "

I went around the little room. All it had room for was a bed, desk and chair, and a guest fold-up chair. Seriously. Papers were everywhere. There were drawings here and there and two busts with masks over them. This mask thing was a definate obsession, a cool obsession, but still an obsession. I picked up one of the masks.

Me: "Uh, Erik?" (Here I sat down the finished essay.)

Erik: " …"

Me: " Do you have these things mass produced in China?"

Erik: " No."

Me: " Seriously?"

Erik: " ' Seriously' ".

Me: "I'm still taking one of these."

Erik: "What?" (At this point I was up the stairs and nearly to the door. A clean getaway.)

I totally forgot my essay. Erik must've had a total freakout that one of his masks was now "Sayonara-la-bye-bye", because my Mom told me when she went to look for it that something smelled like it was burning. Or had been burned. My fears were then comfirmed: Erik had torched my essay.

However, before I even thought about said in-flame-essay, I went around school wearing the mask, keeping it hidden when a teacher or any staff member came by. I told all my friends: "See?! I told you! The Phantom of the Opera lives in my basement! Ha!"

Everyone said I just got it off eBay. I don't even have an eBay account.

I showed my bestfriends, Kim and Asia, they didn't think I was tellig the truth, either. Asia just thought I went a little more insane.

Me: "See Kim?! Told you!!"

Kim: " Awesome Phantom Mask! Where'd you get it?!"

Me: " I stole it from him."

Kim: " Who?"

Me: " The Phantom."

Kim: " Yeah, sure, and I have Jimmy Hoffa's Briefcase in my locker."

Me: " Cool! Can I see it?!"

Kim: "- Laughs- You're a dork, Katie. But that's good. I gotta get to class. Bye. "

Me: " But-!!"

She left. I still had the mask and went to my U.S. History class. On the Brink-of-waking-sleep I remembered. My essay! Due next period! Where was it?!

I remembered leaving it with Erik, and now it was probably destroyed. Never steal from a pyromaniac, it will come back to burn you in the butt (Literally!). She told me about the burning smell. There was no Erik, and worse, no essay. My heart sank. I was doomed.

Mrs. Patton-Radel, this is the point of the story that you play an important role in. You see, I had tried explaining this to you in a way that you wouldn't totally think I was lying. I fear that it did not work. For you see, Katie Van Zant isn't writing this essay. My name is Erik. I am the Phantom of the Opera. It is a pleasure, Madame, to meet you in a way.

I did indeed burn Ms. Van Zant's essay on "The Worst Homework something or other". I found the essay and the instruction sheet attatched.

I assure you, I did you a FAVOR by burning it. She certainly did it last minute, of this I am certain. It was the most distasteful piece of literature I or any sentinent being have ever read. In terms of the "Modern-Day-Teenager: It Sucked. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE OUT ANYMORE SUCH PAPERS I BEG OF YOU!! It's just a confounded mess, checking everything that child does! Honestly! YOU only see her nice side, but inside she is an evil little nuisance-being-mutant.

Be warned.

So, therefore,I burned the old copy, and rewroteit on how she must have felt about said essay on "The Worst Homework something or other" from a book called "Speak", made my way all the way to the West Side (On foot, mind you) and slid this paper through your window just as 4th period left. Right on the bell. Does it count as late? After all the trouble I went to to keep that confounded child out of trouble, I surely hope not. Baby-sitting the baby is truly a terrible task.

However, I'd hate to get the child into trouble. Even if her writing skills are attrocious.

Seriously "dude".

Signed,

O.G.

A.K.A

The Phantom of the Opera

_**-FINIS-**_


End file.
